May 2011

1 May 2011

Well in a time in my life most things seem dark, today has been a good day! I got officially voted in as a sweetheart at the fraternity! Something I've wanted for awhile now!! Four of the 12 girls got it but I was the only one unanimously voted in! Yeah this is a small window of happy in my life but I'll SO take it. I love those boys SO much!

2 May 2011

• Never be afraid to tell your friends what you think- If they don't respect you they aren't really your friend!

Rolling tonight at the frat castle. What an amazing feeling! Just happy, content, and open. I honestly believe everyone should try this once. I'm here with Joe, Chris, Stephen, John, and two Randos. Hayley rolled too but she is trying to crash now. Joe and I had this cute conversation about how comfortable we are together which is unusual considering the first time we really hung out we got drunk and slept together.
Well, It's like 5am and I feel nowhere near sleep. We may watch a movie nowbut I'm not sure. Alan turns 21 in less than 24 hours! Wednesday we are going to Chili's, then Thursday is Alan-Cassie only day at the bar. Then Friday- Alan moves for the summer to work. Mary leaves tomorrow and Hayley later this week. Summer is gonna be boring. Wow I feel really content and thoughtful and I just want to be touch, not even sexually. Molly is definitely my drug of choice. So Jason and MaryJane have kinda been hooking up while Jason and I have been talking. I don't like it but I'm not sure if that's because I actually care or I just want the attention. Ugh. I'm such a bitch. What I do know is if Alan wasn't completely unavailable I'd do anything for him. But even knowing that's not going anywhere I still wont let myself attach to someone new in fear of losing him- SO MUCH HOPE!

Oh well- another boy to add to the list of "not worth my time"! For instance... Michael. I really need to work on me anyways so boys won't be of any help. I need to figure out my future and get financially stable. I need to get in shape, set clear goals, etc. Easier done with distractions- Well I'd love to keep writing but I think I'll go watch the movie with everyone...


Well I didn't make it very far in the movie. I've already seen "The Other Guys" and it is late or uh early. I left my laptop so they could finish the movie. Then Mary, Hayley and I came back to my apartment. They both crashed but I've been on Facebook. Things with mom haven't gotten better. Alan went with me to Red Lobster for my family dinner. I went to it a bit tipsy so Alan kept shoving bread at me. Mom refused to come. My phone has been cut off but I have texting through google voice. My car is still broke down and tags expired- It's just one thing after another. My friends have been amazing though. I had THE best best birthday week...
Sunday: Everyone met up at the frat castle. since it was my 21st at midnight. They all made a card that I LOVED. We drank, played flip cup, and Jamie made me a cake. At midnight Alan, AssholeBrother, and Hayley walked with me to the Shell to buy my first legal alcohol! Oh even Michael and Kayla came to the frat castle. then everyone sang me Happy Birthday and then the brothers changed the traditional 21st birthday song for me! It was really awesome. Normally the song is...
"Heres' to brother rando. Here's to brother rando who's with us tonight. He beats them, he eats them, he even mistreats them. So here's to brother rando who fucks them all night. So DRINK MOTHER FUCKER DRINK!"
But they changed it to...
"Here's to sister Meag. Here's to sister Meag who's with tonight. She's cheesy, She sleazy, she's so fucking easy. So here's to sister Meag who fucks them all night. So DRINK MOTHER FUCKER DRINK!"
haha. I love my boys.
Monday: We partied at [Jager]. I ended up hooking with Joe. Yep Birthday sex.
Tuesday: I hung out with Alan- Avatar night!
Wednesday: Riverstone- FREE BEER! Dan from PCB came in town this night for my birthday and to see Mary. (They are dating now too!)
Thursday: We went to Gilligan's. :)
Friday: My 21st birthday at the frat castle! It was a black light body paint party. and it rocked! I was SO messed up I made out with Kayla! ahah She said that night, "Now I know why Michael fuck you!" I got drunk and then sobered up and ended up rolling. I stayed up till like 9 am the next day and spent the night with Jason.
Then it was rest time for a couple days! This week Alan and I finished Avatar and watched the first movie. We even got him drunk one night- Which was super fun. He's such a diva drunk! It's been a good end of semester. I even got my lavalier today! :) Ugh but now it's really time to settle down. Lots of work to become financially stable but I'm willing to do my best! Wel It's almost 7 am so I'm going to attempt to force myself to sleep. Plus this entry got really long- fast!

22 May 2011

Summer at the frat castle has definitely begun! Let's clear up boy drama to begin with. Alan is home for summer (enjoying the drunken phone calls) and we are looking at moving in together in August so that's all just... to be continued. I finally told Jason off for being too clingy and fucking with MaryJane's head so he gave up and is dating MaryJane. Adam and I continued our adventures in friends with benefits until I found a new friend- Cassie- who after a very drunk night we ended up having a threesome with. She slowly took over my "uhmfriend" position which is totally okay with me! :) Cassie, Adam, John, Paul, and I have kinda become the regulars. We go out for free beer, We stay in for circle of death. Paul and I slept together again a few days ago. Well three times in one day... :) I almost wish we liked each other because we get along so well. Let's see two days ago we had Annie's birthday party- A catholic school girl party! It was so much fun. We had about 50 people here- not bad for summer. Adam's 17 year old brother, Mike, and his 16 year old friend, Josh, came to it. they are such fun kids. Cassie and I, oh and Kaitlyn spotlighted Tucker and sang "Statistics" to him. haha. Then he attempted to tell Cassie what a bad friend I am. I cried. Dumb. Michael was there for me. Even rolling he's my best friend. Adam kicked him out and gave me the "Do you know who how important to this fraternity you are speech?". I am pretty sure Kaitlyn made out with Michael but I don't know what to do with that information? Do I tell Kayla or do I stay out of it? I can't stand that Kaitlyn lectures me for the things I do wrong when she is all about a married man herself! I ended up passed out on the couch but woke up early and went back to sleep in Adam's room. In the morning Adam, Mike, Josh, and I went to Waffle House for breakfast. To get back to the frat castle I ended up cuddle in a 16 year olds lap. We came back and watched movies with Brad, John, and Cassie. Then we went to my place to get food that we cooked for lunch. We got into fireworks wars and the Cassie and i made a bed in the bed of the truck which prompted the idea to go for a ride! So Josh and I and Cassie and Brad go in and Coty and John drove us. It was a blast. Next we came back to the frat castle and got high with Adam and Derrick in the cabin. We ended up eating four pizzas! then we took another truck ride to Walmart for more munchies- this time without John, Cassie, and Brad. Josh and I laid in the truck and talked while they went in. When we got back the boys played video games for a few and everyone trickled to bed. Brad was passed out in the basement but Josh and I went down to watch "The Mist". We ended up cuddling and holding hands. Once the movie was off I stopped things from making out and said I just could NOT do that with a 16 year old. Oddly enough not because I'm not attracted to him. I just couldn't do it. They left this morning. I slept in. The internet is down so I'm bored but summer at the frat castle has been eventful- not what I expected. We'll see how this goes! :)

Oh I guess I do have one more thing to do. Court. Ugh. Emma lied about court time and bailed on giving me a ride. I was almost screwed. But after airing a few of her secrets to the judge I got probation and a fine. Once I meet requirements it'll be expunged. It's just a pre-trial diversion. I don't know exactly what happened to Emily but it was worse! She's now out of the fraternity girls and out of our lives!!

April 2011

5 April 2011

I'm not usually your typical girl. I actually have a lot of through processes like a boy so when "girl" feelings and emotions strike me- It's hard to comprehend and deal with. Boys aren't usually a problem for me because I'm usually "one of the guys". When the dating scene arises I'm pretty nonchalant. Take them or leave them and move on quickly. Since Michael this has slowly changed. He was the first boy to really get past my wall since Russell in high school. He opened my heart up and changed me a lot! Moving on from him especially to a "friend" relationship took A LOT of effort but I'm there now and for the first time I think I might have... a crush? And the boy is driving me up a wall! I've talked to this guy before- Hell I've slept with this guy before. Last fall Andrew and I had a "thing". He wanted to date me but some drama with his ex came up where she pretended to be pregnant and the timing was just bad. Well now we are talking again and he made me realize I still like him. His words to me were, "When you look at Alan you smile. When you look at me you glow." At first I was pissed, until I realized he's right. It's obvious she wants me too, last week he even asked me to spend the night with him. But he's being super sketchy about this girl from his hometown that he is "kinda" in a relationship with. I want to be normal me and not care... but I do. So to make myself feel better I spend some "quality time" with my favorite NSA boy- Tucker and now it's bed time!

8 April 2011

8:00am-I hate the situations I put myself in. I'm charging my phone in my car at the frat castle because I spent the night with Andrew. Last night after work I came back to find a HUGE party of randos. So I hid in Alan's room and watched Avatar until 1:00am. Then I watched the crazy party till about 2:00am when Andrew came home from the bar. We have this running joke about "practice makes perfect" because he always asks me for a blow job and I always say I'm bad at them (which I am). So after some tipsy flirting we locked ourselves in his room and he proceeded to quite literally give me head lessons. I gave him head in any and every position you can think of to give head! Well naturally this led into us having sex and I stayed over. Now he's getting ready for class and I'm left wondering why the hell I do this to myself- I think I really do like him. :(

10:00pm- Fuck my life. He just made his relationship with the girl back home facebook official. Yeah. I'm officially the other woman. Ugh!

13 April 2011

Well this week alone could turn my life into a movie!
Friday I did molly (REAL molly) for the first time. It was with Adam and Kaitlyn and quite possibly the most amazing feeling ever. I took an hour long shower with them that I could never explain. It was amazing (and no we didn't have a threesome!) It was sensual and fun. Adam gave us a light show in the water too. We danced and stayed up till 8:00am!

Saturday was Wing Fling and Emma, Kaitlyn, Jenna, Mary, Hayley and I sat out at the pool most of the day. Then we cleaned my apartment and got ready for Allie's party. Her boyfriend recently broke up with her and she needed cheering up. The party was pretty successful until the cops showed up. First time they have ever busted one of my parties. Despite being pretty drunk and holding a solo cup I managed to convince that either I wasn't drunk or to take pity on me since my birthday is 8 days away! I also managed to convince him not to ID anyone. Except John had already admitted to being underage and he was DRUNK. So we moved the party to the frat castle. I stayed the night in Alan's room on the futon with Trevor.
Sunday we played beer pong at my place with Rando and Hayley and then I cleaned the frat castle. I spent the rest of the night watching Avatar with Alan. This week I've been really sick so I've just been at my apartment a lot and watching Avatar at nights with Alan.
Then today- Ugh. I had a doctor's appointment at 11am then lunch at McCallie. Then Emma and I watched "Sweet Sixteen" with Alan. I worked at the studio for a few hours and then I was stupid. Emma and I went to Walmart because she needed to "acquire" a swimsuit to meet all our friends at the waterfall. I knew what she was doing and just let it go. I gave her my bag and just stood back. Well on the way out the door we were stopped by LP. Apprehended and given misdemeanors for "Theft under $500". Yep, I'm screwed. Court is 18 May. Oh yeah and my account is -$254. I owe rent in two days and probable $300 in traffic tickets plus this now. I am starting to feel hopeless. Now I'm watching David and Michael play Call of Duty--Yayyy. :) Well at least by this point things can only get better--Right? :/

29 April 2011

Well I've never felt SO much like a girl... I have a boy (Jason) who adores me and would literally do anything for me. I met him at my 21st birthday party which I was very fucked up at and hooked up with him. He's cute with really pretty blue eyes but I don't want him because he's just too clingy! I've instead started falling for my best friend, Alan and I'm 90% sure that's not even an option. Plus I told him which could make our plans to move in together in the fall apart. Oh and even better I got drunk last night and slept with his fraternity brother, Adam, and while I don't have actually feelings for him... It was the best sex of my life! Yeah. FML. I'm still super stressed financially and my car broke down to top that all off! On a brighter side- I shot a wedding today of friends from high school. It actually set them up all those years ago. It was really cool. It was a beautiful wedding too. Mary and Hayley are attempting plans for the night so I'm out- but I'll definitely have to write about my 21st birthday WEEK soon. Oh hey... Here's Paul too. Now we have a DJ for the night. :)