Winter Lessons
Fall Lessons
- Never go in the attic drunk.
- Never get a ride from jersey shore look a likes.
- If he's worried about you being a student. Walk away.
Fall Lessons
- Dogs require a lot of work. Don't rush into that decision!
- Cassie's and Stephanie's CANNOT be friends.
- Never take an alcoholics beer.
- Never chug liquor. It's a bad idea, no matter how cool it looks!
- Never play a prank involving death.'
- There is a bro-tip for ANY situation... or a Taylor Swift song.
Summer Lessons
- Fuck buddies are fine but there are rules!
- Never get comfortable
- Never have morning sex or period sex. That's for a boyfriend.
- ALWAYS use a condom.
- If you are staying overnight, you are having sex.
- We live in fraternity territory. There is a rule of threes. Know it. If you fuck three guys in the same fraternity you are officially that fraternities whore. Also known as a toaster. If you fuck five guys in the same fraternity. You are a fridge. Make it to seven and you are a kitchen set. It doesn't make you a bad person necessarily but everyone knows and everyone judges. Also if you have fucked someone in three different fraternities you are simply a frat mattress.
- If you are going to disappear from the group/house to have sex, especially overnight. Take a phone. People will assume you have gone missing.
- **If you meet an attractive person and they are alone... There is a probably a reason. Take the warning and leave them how you found them... ALONE.
- Just because someone does something to you does not mean you can feel okay to do it back to them.
- Don't trade things that aren't yours- even if you're fucked up!
- If pussy tasted like cake John wouldn't be gay.
- You can get any boy at the pool to take your foam to the face if you surprise them.
- You can't judge a book by it's brother.
- If you funnel fuck up tea you'll be fucking fat chicks in no time.
- You can't teach a straight dog gay tricks.
- If you are gonna throw a party you have to invite people and don't throw parties for randos.
- Don't ever talk about anything in the cabin... People are listening.
- Everything in life that I enjoy is already Cassie's.
- Girls who are cool bars are mean in real life.
- There are an infinite amount of cigarettes when randos come to parties.
- Don't trust minors, they lie.
