April 2011

5 April 2011

I'm not usually your typical girl. I actually have a lot of through processes like a boy so when "girl" feelings and emotions strike me- It's hard to comprehend and deal with. Boys aren't usually a problem for me because I'm usually "one of the guys". When the dating scene arises I'm pretty nonchalant. Take them or leave them and move on quickly. Since Michael this has slowly changed. He was the first boy to really get past my wall since Russell in high school. He opened my heart up and changed me a lot! Moving on from him especially to a "friend" relationship took A LOT of effort but I'm there now and for the first time I think I might have... a crush? And the boy is driving me up a wall! I've talked to this guy before- Hell I've slept with this guy before. Last fall Andrew and I had a "thing". He wanted to date me but some drama with his ex came up where she pretended to be pregnant and the timing was just bad. Well now we are talking again and he made me realize I still like him. His words to me were, "When you look at Alan you smile. When you look at me you glow." At first I was pissed, until I realized he's right. It's obvious she wants me too, last week he even asked me to spend the night with him. But he's being super sketchy about this girl from his hometown that he is "kinda" in a relationship with. I want to be normal me and not care... but I do. So to make myself feel better I spend some "quality time" with my favorite NSA boy- Tucker and now it's bed time!

8 April 2011

8:00am-I hate the situations I put myself in. I'm charging my phone in my car at the frat castle because I spent the night with Andrew. Last night after work I came back to find a HUGE party of randos. So I hid in Alan's room and watched Avatar until 1:00am. Then I watched the crazy party till about 2:00am when Andrew came home from the bar. We have this running joke about "practice makes perfect" because he always asks me for a blow job and I always say I'm bad at them (which I am). So after some tipsy flirting we locked ourselves in his room and he proceeded to quite literally give me head lessons. I gave him head in any and every position you can think of to give head! Well naturally this led into us having sex and I stayed over. Now he's getting ready for class and I'm left wondering why the hell I do this to myself- I think I really do like him. :(

10:00pm- Fuck my life. He just made his relationship with the girl back home facebook official. Yeah. I'm officially the other woman. Ugh!

13 April 2011

Well this week alone could turn my life into a movie!
Friday I did molly (REAL molly) for the first time. It was with Adam and Kaitlyn and quite possibly the most amazing feeling ever. I took an hour long shower with them that I could never explain. It was amazing (and no we didn't have a threesome!) It was sensual and fun. Adam gave us a light show in the water too. We danced and stayed up till 8:00am!

Saturday was Wing Fling and Emma, Kaitlyn, Jenna, Mary, Hayley and I sat out at the pool most of the day. Then we cleaned my apartment and got ready for Allie's party. Her boyfriend recently broke up with her and she needed cheering up. The party was pretty successful until the cops showed up. First time they have ever busted one of my parties. Despite being pretty drunk and holding a solo cup I managed to convince that either I wasn't drunk or to take pity on me since my birthday is 8 days away! I also managed to convince him not to ID anyone. Except John had already admitted to being underage and he was DRUNK. So we moved the party to the frat castle. I stayed the night in Alan's room on the futon with Trevor.
Sunday we played beer pong at my place with Rando and Hayley and then I cleaned the frat castle. I spent the rest of the night watching Avatar with Alan. This week I've been really sick so I've just been at my apartment a lot and watching Avatar at nights with Alan.
Then today- Ugh. I had a doctor's appointment at 11am then lunch at McCallie. Then Emma and I watched "Sweet Sixteen" with Alan. I worked at the studio for a few hours and then I was stupid. Emma and I went to Walmart because she needed to "acquire" a swimsuit to meet all our friends at the waterfall. I knew what she was doing and just let it go. I gave her my bag and just stood back. Well on the way out the door we were stopped by LP. Apprehended and given misdemeanors for "Theft under $500". Yep, I'm screwed. Court is 18 May. Oh yeah and my account is -$254. I owe rent in two days and probable $300 in traffic tickets plus this now. I am starting to feel hopeless. Now I'm watching David and Michael play Call of Duty--Yayyy. :) Well at least by this point things can only get better--Right? :/

29 April 2011

Well I've never felt SO much like a girl... I have a boy (Jason) who adores me and would literally do anything for me. I met him at my 21st birthday party which I was very fucked up at and hooked up with him. He's cute with really pretty blue eyes but I don't want him because he's just too clingy! I've instead started falling for my best friend, Alan and I'm 90% sure that's not even an option. Plus I told him which could make our plans to move in together in the fall apart. Oh and even better I got drunk last night and slept with his fraternity brother, Adam, and while I don't have actually feelings for him... It was the best sex of my life! Yeah. FML. I'm still super stressed financially and my car broke down to top that all off! On a brighter side- I shot a wedding today of friends from high school. It actually set them up all those years ago. It was really cool. It was a beautiful wedding too. Mary and Hayley are attempting plans for the night so I'm out- but I'll definitely have to write about my 21st birthday WEEK soon. Oh hey... Here's Paul too. Now we have a DJ for the night. :)